‘My fiance is bipolar, ADHD and has PTSD. He is currently waiting on a hearing date for disability. He went to court last week for contempt for nonpayment of child support. He told the judge how he filed for disability and gave him a letter from his disability attorney. The judge said “well, you don’t look disabled; you can work, I think you work under the table” and sentenced him to 30 days in jail. First of all, can he be held in contempt if he has filed for disability? Secondly, it seems like a violation of rights or something for the judge to make comments like that without knowing any details of his disability case. His work history is very unstable. He has never held a job longer than 2 months. He has had most of the issues since childhood. He is also very dependent of me. He is 34 and I practically take care of him. He can’t even wake up on his own. Now he is in jail and I fear something may happen to him. He gets violent and also suicidal when depressed. He has never attempted but talks about it. He is not on meds because our state will not help him with health care because he is a man. Please help me. I just feel like he has been mistreated because of his illness and this can only make it worse.’
It would be impossible to say whether your fiance was treated fairly or not without being there, but the facts of whether he is or isn’t on disability, or whether he does or doesn’t have the ability to work, do not excuse him from his obligation to pay child support. Moreover, depending on in what state you live, once you are married the state may be able to impute your income to him, which means that, essentially, you will be paying support for his child.
But beyond anything else, please reread what you have written. In fact, read it, read it again, and then read it once more.
Why on earth are you marrying into this situation?