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“I live in California. My boyfriend’s ex-wife is upset because their 5 year old daughter jumped in the shower with me while I was taking a shower. I was about to get out of the shower when she started to get undressed and wanted to come in. Shortly after she came in I exited the shower and that was it. On occasions, since my boyfriend and I live together, I have come out of the shower in a towel and there have been incidences where I get dressed while his daughter is in the room. She’s usually just watching television or just talking to me while I’m getting dressed. My boyfriend and I are never nude together in front of her. She (his daughter) and I are very close and she always wants to be around me all the time. I didn’t think there was anything inappropriate about it but I don’t know if legally there was. The ex and my boyfriend have already discussed it and he agreed that their daughter would shower alone and it wouldn’t happen again. Now she wants to come and meet me (we’ve never met before) and I believe she’s going to go over this particular incident with me again and she going to tell me exactly what I can and can’t do with her daughter present. I don’t go out of my way to get dressed in front of her or make her take showers with me the way the ex is making it sound. Then she started accusing my boyfriend, their daughter and I of taking showers together. I don’t know where she’s coming up with this stuff. I just want to know if legally she can do something.”In a worse case scenario, she could conceivably get a restraining order against you, ordering you to not be around their daughter except under certain circumstances. If the judge and your boyfriend are both really having a bad day, it’s even possible she could use this to stop his daughter’s time at your home altogether.
Question: In a case such as this, the best course of action is to acknowledge that she has what are probably, from her perspective, legitimate concerns (would you really want your own 5-year-old daughter to see someone else naked?), and to try to work out an understanding with her in a cooperative manner. That’s certainly what would be best for your boyfriend’s daughter, who above all else, needs both of her parents to be able to co-parent in a civil manner.
