“Do I have to allow my ex-inlaws to visit with the children when the children’s father is out of town. The father works out of town and is not home most of his weekends. Do I have to allow his family to see the kids on his weekend? How should I go about telling them that I don’t want them to see the kids.”
Your duty extends to the pick up and drop off points specified in your Court order, and whether others can be designated to aid in transportation. If husband is allowed to let others pick up, then you are responsible for allowing the exchange to occur. If he picks up and then drops them off to his parents, do you have a “Right of First Refusal” or something like that in your order that would say that you are to watch the children during his timeshare if he is not available?
Basically, both parents control what happens with the kids during their timeshare. If he is not available and he is not allowed to designate someone else to do the exchange, then you do not need to release the children to the ex inlaws. If there is no order in place that would limit his ability to have his parents help him out and continue to be part of their lives, then you would need a court order to stop them.
Grandparent visitation is generally derivative of parental visitation. If your ex wants his parents to be part of your kids’ lives during his timeshare, you will need a Court order prohibiting this to stop it.
I do not know a best way to go about seeking what you request as relationships with extended families is usually good for children. I suppose the first step would be communicating your desires to terminate their relationship with their grandchildren with a warning that you are willing to take it back to Court if they do not cooperate. Unless there is a real safety concern, it seems that you are taking your case in a bad direction and unnecessarily using your children as pawns on a battlefield between you and your ex mother in law. Counseling might help.