“I’m about to enter the divorce process, and I’m scared stiff. I keep hearing about how fathers can’t get a fair shake, and just get stuck with all the bills, and are made strangers in their children’s lives.”
I’m not sure what your question is, but I’ll assume you are looking for some reassurance as to the family law system with respect to fathers. Unfortunately, I can’t offer you much in the way of reassurance, because the family law system is very much weighted against fathers. To compound matters, it’s very easy for women to manipulate the family law system to assure just about any outcome they want.
Fortunately, things are starting to swing back the other way, but it’s by no means assured. The best thing you can do for both yourself and your children is to make sure that you find a good attorney who is familiar with the issues and obstacles which fathers face, and then do your best to negotiate with your ex, rather than going to court if at all possible.
And read, read, read to educate yourself.
One good resource is The Fathers’ Rights & Equality Exchange.