Note: The DearEsq free 'ask a lawyer' site is offered as a free informational service to the public and is not intended as legal advice. Laws vary from state-to-state, and in addition every situation is unique, and relevant facts may not be known. The answer to the question posed below may not apply to in your state or to your situation. For legal advice in your state and your situation you should consult with an attorney in your state who is familiar with the rules and laws in your state.
“My son’s mother is 5 years older than me, has 2 kids by her ex-husband and one by me. I just found out that she lied to me about her marital status for the first year we were together which indirectly lead to us having a child of our own. (against my wishes) She first lied about being on birth control, then told me she was going to have the baby and if I didn’t want to be with her she would ruin my life in the child support system. I was 24 at the time and she was 29. Nevertheless her bullying me to stay with her only lasted until my son was 3 months and we’ve been parted ever sense. I support my son and have pretty much given her 800.00 a month and I visit with my son twice a week and Ive kept him every other weekend since we split up. There have been times I was out of work and unable to afford 800.00, but during that time I paid 400-600 a month depending on his needs. She has been threatening me with child support ever since he was born and now the threats have elevated to her wanting to get court ordered guideline child support for the following reasons.
1. To create a buffer between us so she doesn’t have to ask me for anything.
2. Because with her new relationship its easier for her to manage.
3. Because she’s in the military and is moving next year to another state or possible another country.
We do not have any custody order established, at this point I only agreed to him staying with her because of the other two boys being there also. I do not feel she should be allowed to try to get more money out of me, and put me into the child support system when I already take very good care of my son. She wants to do it for her own personal preference.Which I believe her motive is just to adversely affect me. Not to mention, why does she think she can just up and move with my son, and collect child support. The way I see it is, she manipulated a situation to get pregnant, so we would stay together. That didn’t work, so now she wants to cut her losses, collect a check and move on. She wont keep my from my son, but doesn’t actually care either way.
My question is……will this fly? Will a judge not see directly through this? What are my options?”The child did not ask to be born. She did not rape you. The child is both your and her responsibility.
Question: A child is always entitled to guideline child support, and a custodial parent can receive it on that child’s behalf. You have the right to seek custody and visitaiton orders. Whether it is joint custody or sole custoday, and whether you get alternate weekends or she does will be based on what is in the child’s best interests. If you wait long enough, and she is re-stationed, she will leave the jurisdiction with the child, and your options will be more limited. If you believe she is going to leave the State with your son, and you do not want this to happen, seek a custody and visitaiton order now to protect your rights as a father.
