My Wife Had an Affair Four Years Ago and Got Pregnant, Now the Biological Father Wants to See the Child.


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“My wife had an affair four years ago and became pregnant. The father wanted nothing to do with her or the baby. We worked through it all and have a handsome 3 year old boy. I have no interest in taking a paternity test. I’m on the birth certificate as the father. Now out of spite the biological father wants to see our son. He is not a good man by any means. What can he do if anything to make it happen and does he have rights after not wanting anything to do with him?”

This is going to depend in large part on in what state you live, and also on when the biological father knew – or should have known – that the child was his.  Some states have a presumption that a child born during a marriage *is* the child of the husband, unless either the husband or another male claiming paternity bring a legal action, and often the window during which such legal action may be brought is a very short period of time.

For this reason, you need to consult with a family law attorney in your area.  If the biological father knew that he was the biological father early on, it may be that at this point, he has “sat on his rights”, and so lost those rights.

That said, your son surely has a right to know his biological father, if only for potential medical and other genetic matters down the road (although we feel that the reasons for a child knowing their biological parents extend much further).