“My daughter was married in Aug of 2005 and in Sept of 2005 she discovered that her new husband had been sending text messages while she was asleep to her younger sister. These messages were sexual in nature. We confronted him and he promised he would never do anything like this again. At that time we told him if he does he would have to pay us back the $45,000 we put out for their wedding. Now we have discovered he has been carrying on via text message with a co-worker (+850 messages in three months).
My daughter asked him to leave the marital domicile upon this discovery and also after he said he changed his mind and did not want children.
Can we (either my daughter or her parents) sue him for “breach of promise” or something like that in a civil action for damages and the cost of the wedding?”
Unless you had some kind of agreement like that before the marriage (that he would pay you back for the wedding) you are not going to be able to turn that into a contract now unless he agrees, and you offer additional consideration (incentive of some kind for reformation of the contract). The wedding expenses will likely be viewed as a gift, otherwise. If he does agree to pay back the wedding expense, get it in writing.
At least your daughter will be able to keep the jewelry.