My Child is Uncomfortable Visiting with My Ex Because of her New Boyfriend, What can I do?


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“My ex girlfriend of 8 years and I have 2 kids together. The kids are with me Monday through Friday and with their mom on the weekends. We have already gone to court for allocation of parental responsibilities and worked that out. My ex has been dating a guy for a very short time and has been having him spend the nights when the kids are over and spends all her time with him when she should be spending it with the kids. Now, my daughter has come to me on more than one occasion saying that she is uncomfortable being at her moms when this guy is around. I have tried to discuss this with my ex and tell her of our daughters discomfort and she won’t listen or do anything about it. Our daughter has said that she upset because she only sees mom on the weekend and wants to just spend time with mommy. My ex told us all that she doesn’t care and we will all have to deal with it. It hurts me to see my daughter not want to go to moms because she knows this guy will be there. As far as I know there is no abuse going on but she has told me she is afraid to tell mom anymore because she’ll get mad. Is there a way to get a restraining order on this guy or something to end my daughters suffering? Is there anyway to make him stay away from my kids? Or at least be ordered to stay away while my kids are at Moms house on the weekends so they can spend time with just her? I can see in my daughters face that she hates going there and I want to change that. Since her mom wont do anything to help her what legal action can I take to ensure my kids are not being neglected or at least that they are being payed thier moms full attention when she has them? Is there any way to keep this guy away so my kids are happy again?”You cannot keep your ex wife’s boyfriend away from your ex, or her house, and, by extension, you cannot keep him from the children during her parenting time.

Question: But what you can do – and what I highly recommend you do – is get your children and ex into short-term family counselling, so that they can resolve these issues. If your ex won’t cooperate, you can ask the Court to order them to counselling. Because you are trying hard to *facilitate* your children’s relationship with their mother, the Court should be quite willing to issue such an order.