‘My ex-wife went to law school and her attorney is her boyfriend. He did not serve me but said he did and as a result they were able to enter a default judgement, even though I am very involved in my son’s life and I AM THE PETITIONER! They claim I didn’t submit discovery, which I did.
The attorney lives with my ex-wife, disciplines my child and interviews him about me, then emails me with accusations. I know this is civil harassment, but is an Attorney ethically allowed to do this in Family Court?’
Much more importantly, you need to make the court understand that you were never served, and have the default reversed. What her boyfriend can and can’t do is less (far less) important than protecting your relationship with your son.
We are guessing, from your question, that you do not have an attorney or, at least, not a very effective one. You need to get a good attorney, asap, and have the default reversed. Once your situation vis a vis your son is set, then you can discuss with your attorney what actions, if any, to take regarding her boyfriend’s actions.
But remember, you have to have a good, cooperative relationship with your son’s co-parent (your ex) until your son is 18, at least. Getting her boyfriend in trouble is not going to achieve that.