“I live in Colorado. My ex-wife left my son (now 9) and I for 5 years. During those 5 years, I raised our son alone. My ex-wife occasionally requested to visit with our son- approx. once every 2 months. My ex-wife and I were finally divorced this last year and after she lied in court, she was awarded custody of our 8 year old son - even though I raised him completely! Anyway, my son has recently told me that he found “pot” and “pot tubes” in his mother’s kitchen drawer. He also stated that he saw his mom’s live- in-boyfriend smoking one of these pipes with his friends. My son has told me repeatedly that he thinks his mom is using drugs too. He is constantly asking when he can come home. I currently have visitation with my son 2 out of 3 weekends. I have filed an appeal with the court- for custody of my son. Is there anything I can do to have my ex-wife drug tested at random? My son said he does not feel safe there.”

As part of the proceedings, you can request drug testing, and the Court can order it or not. You can also request that an order be put in place that neither party is to use illegal drugs, or allow others to do so, in the presence of your son. The Court might order this. If it is of a medical nature, that does, of course change the dynamic.

Sometimes it takes time for a proper parenting plan to come to fruition. In retrospect, you should have filed for custody during those other five years (!), but hindsight is 20/20. Do what you can now for what is best for his future.