“My husband got into an argument. I kinda slapped him (not hard) and he punched me in the arm. He was drunk. I went home and called the cops, being driven completely by my emotions. I didn’t expect my husband to get arrested, but he was. He was released with conditions that we are to have absolutely NO contact. His court date is in two months, and I am being told that a variance to his conditions probably won’t happen. I don’t know what to do. Is there a way I could get the charges dropped? This situation was blown way out of proportion and my husband is not a threat to me or anyone else. What can I do? I didn’t write a statement, I refused to do so because that would be evidence against my husband. There were no physical marks. How can I get these charges dropped and my husband back home? Please help me!”

I’m not a Canadian, and I am not sure of your law there. Sometimes it takes witnesses to prove a crime occurred, and other times a crime can be proved with confessions or other evidence. If you both told this story to the police then they might have the necessary statements. At this point, you are only a witness anyway. In California, the prosecutor can proceed whether or not you wanted to continue to participate. So the “victim” (you) would not be able to simply drop charges.

Usually an emergency protective order lasts for a set amount of time, and only the judge that issued it can change it. You might not have a restriction to see your husband, but he probably does with respect to you. If he came to me, I would tell him to follow Court orders, as violating them could add time and charges. Two months might give both of you a chance to settle down. As you hit him first, consider going to batterer’s counseling in the meantime.

Lessons: Don’t hit your spouse. Don’t call the police unless you mean it.

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Michael Durgavich is an accomplished attorney and mediator. Maintaining a general practice in the San Jose, California area, Mr. Durgavich specializes in family law, bankruptcy, and alternative dispute resolution. Mr. Durgavich can be reached through his website at http://www.MichaelDurgavich.com. Contact This Author

State laws vary, and the above is intended as general advice, and not direct legal advice regarding any one particular situation in any one state. For direct personal legal advice related to your own situation you should consult an attorney familiar with the laws of your state and with your situation.