“My son was living w/his than girlfriend and her two children (by two different fathers) She had a baby w/my son. They were living in the duplex she was living in (thru state assistance) until the state found out and they were told to “get out”. I said I would add an addition onto my home so they could live here. Since they’ve been here, there has been nothing but problems. She goes out almost every weekend by herself, goes on vacation to Florida, Puerto Rico by herself and always my son is here with his son and her other two children. Now, she decides that she’s leaving and taking the baby with her (my son’s baby) Does he have any grounds that he can use to get custody of his baby? She has done so many neglectful things w/the baby and her other two children, it’s a shame. We live in NJ by the way.”

Your son can always bring an action for custody of the child. The Court might take into account abusive or neglectful behavior, but check with a local attorney as to whether her behavior rises to that level. If you pull the trigger on that, and it turns out your allegations are overstated it will backfire.

If she asks your son to watch the kids, and he says yes, then he is enabling her to do what she wants. I realize that if he said “no” she might just go out anyway, knowing that he’ll watch them. Or maybe she’ll threaten to leave him – oh she is already doing that. He seems to have set no limits, with a woman who has behaved the same way with two other men. I am not sure why you were expecting her to change

If he can’t get custody, he should at least seek visitation and pay child support. Do not let her go on public assistance again for the baby, or participate in any future public assistance frauds.

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Michael Durgavich is an accomplished attorney and mediator. Maintaining a general practice in the San Jose, California area, Mr. Durgavich specializes in family law, bankruptcy, and alternative dispute resolution. Mr. Durgavich can be reached through his website at http://www.MichaelDurgavich.com. Contact This Author

State laws vary, and the above is intended as general advice, and not direct legal advice regarding any one particular situation in any one state. For direct personal legal advice related to your own situation you should consult an attorney familiar with the laws of your state and with your situation.