How Can I Help a Friend Get Out of an Abusive Situation?
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A 24 year old girl I met a while back is having problems with her children’s father. She’s told me that he has threatened her before, but has never admitted to him actually hitting her. He also has a history of drug abuse and violent behavior. I want to know if there is anything I can do to help her? |
“A 24 year old girl I met a while back is having problems with her children’s father. She constantly tries to leave him but every time she tries he threatens to take their 2 year old daughter and 4 year old son. She’s quite timid about the whole situation, and though I can’t prove it I also believe he abuses her. She’s told me that he has threatened her before, but has never admitted to him actually hitting her. He also has a history of drug abuse and violent behavior. I want to know if there is anything I can do to help her? Though I am an outsider to the whole situation, I know she’s trapped and wants out. I believe she is too affraid of losing her children to do anything, and I want to offer some assistance. Is there anything I can do? Or do I just remain a spectator and continue to be disgusted with the fact I can’t help her out?”
Friends are not mandatory reporters to Protective Services, so you are not under a legal obligation to do anything. If you know about a crime, you could report that to the police. It does not sound like you have that. There does not seem to be any legal action for you to take.
The one with rights to protect may be your friend. If she is suffering from abuse, she could exercise her rights and get a restraining order or file a police report. She could file a paternity case and have visitation, custody and boundaries set. However if she is unwilling or unable (perhaps because of fears rooted in her own history) to seek legal recourse on her own behalf there is little you as a friend can do legally. Encourage her to get counseling. She could join a battered partner group. But pretty much it’s going to be up to her.
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For more on this subject check out these categories: Family Law, Criminal Law, Domestic Violence - DV, Domestic Violence - DV, Counseling
Michael Durgavich is an accomplished attorney and mediator. Maintaining a general practice in the San Jose, California area, Mr. Durgavich specializes in family law, bankruptcy, and alternative dispute resolution. Mr. Durgavich can be reached through his website at http://www.MichaelDurgavich.com. Contact This Author
State laws vary, and the above is intended as general advice, and not direct legal advice regarding any one particular situation in any one state. For direct personal legal advice related to your own situation you should consult an attorney familiar with the laws of your state and with your situation.