“My son’s father and I were never married. He wasn’t there for the birth and is not on the birth certificate. He has been in and out of my son’s life seeing him only about a dozen times (he is now over two years old) sometimes with as much as a year between visits. He lives about 30 minutes away from us so distance isn’t the issue. We recently tried to work on things but realized it’s just not going to happen. It has been about two months since he has seen my son. I want to get child support from him but I don’t think its in the best interest of my son to have him around. I’m curious if I can get support from him without him seeing my son. I know he has some rights to him I’m just curious when/if that went away since he hasn’t been around for so long. He has never bought/done anything for my son. Please let me know what my options are.”

It’s your son’s right to know both of his parents. Just because things do not click between you and baby daddy does not mean you get to make decisions for all three of you. If you never try to work things out on visitation, and he never pursues his rights in Court, then the effect will be that he does not have a relationship with his son, and son does not have a relationship with father. Some states have proceedings to terminate parental rights, but that usually means termination of responsibilities. So as long as you want to keep getting support, there likely will always be that lingering fear that father and son will have a relationship.

Statistically speaking, parental absence is one of the worst things you can do for a child developmentally.